By Paul Charron | Monday, February 11, 2019
Lost Colony Tavern, People who treat restaurant table settings as party favors.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!

This is for every person who decides the settings on the tables of restaurants are party favors.

YOU SUCK.

Years ago, an artist gave us 30 sets of personalized salt and pepper shakers for the tables. They all disappeared in months.

If you are adding salt to your eggs right now with my salt shaker, you suck.

Friday we were hit again by the “YOU SUCK” squad.

Sharon spent time over the winter in her pottery studio throwing mustard jars for the tables. We make our own Imperial Stout Mustard and Sharon wanted to add a personal touch to the tables.

Apparently “Ms. U Sux” needed one for her house. It wasn’t until after the customer left that we noticed the jar was gone. It lasted less than one shift.

Sharon loves our café and her pottery is her special way of showing it.

Being the kinder of the two of us she only hopes the jar opens in the thief’s bag and ruins it. I, on the other hand, hope the karma truck hits her while she checks her bag.

We have had to remove all branding from the tables because, as one legal eagle explained to me, as he handed over SIX pint-glasses from his bag, “Get over it. It is part of doing business and you get to write it all off”.

I wonder how he would feel if I left his Super Bowl party with a complimentary set of silverware and matching love seat.
At the time, with the entitled, rude, mouth breather's nose so close, I wondered if my bail money could be written off my taxes as well.

Yep, buddy, you suck.

Most items can easily be replaced, but I wish there was a way to stop Sharon’s art from leaving.

 

About the Author Paul Charron
Owner, Lost Colony Brewery and Cafe